This is a rant I've been meaning to empty from my head for a long time now.
I'm sure more people do it than just Oklahoman's, but I've only noticed it here. They certainly don't do it back in Pennsylvania-- nowhere I've been anyway. So here is the offense: they say "whenever" at a time that they mean "when". For example:
"Whenever I was three..."
"Whenever I got home today..."
"Whenever I went in the room he was sitting on the bed..."
In SOME cases the last two could work, if it was really WHENEVER they did this action. If EVERY TIME they got home something happened, or EVERY TIME they entered their bedroom he was sitting on the bed, then it would make sense. But this isn't the case. Oh no. They really just mean to say that WHEN they got home, and WHEN they went into the room. Once. One time deal. When implies a single event and should be used in the appropriate way. It drives me BATSHIT CRAZY when people gratuitously use "whenever". YOU WEREN'T THREE MORE THAN ONCE!
I also dislike it when on signs the letters and/or numbers are upside down. Especially, but not limited to: 3, 8, S and B.
Friday, December 5, 2008
relationships
I'm terrible at them. Wait, actually that's a lie. I'm excellent at MOST relationships. Romantic relationships are another story. I guess it's more that I don't know if I'm BAD at them, persay, it's more that I don't understand what the big deal is. What is the difference, the line that is drawn where you say "Ah ha! THIS is why I'm in a romantic relationship rather than a friendship!"
I'm sure it's some shortcoming of my own that I can't make this distinction. Sure, some would jump to the obvious physicality of the differing relationships, but can that REALLY be the only difference? Then why do I love my friends differently than my family? Why would I love my boyfriend more or less or equal to any of those people? Plus, what about if you don't DO the physical things? Then are you in a relationship? A friendship? My own issues with physical closeness are mine alone, I accept that until I receive some sort of counseling I'll continue to have those issues, but I don't think that those problems alone can make or break having a committed relationship--can they?
Yesterday I was watching the show about the Morman family of soon to be 18 people, the Duggars. Seriously, get over the no-birth-control rule, it's getting ridiculous. They raise their children well, and the only reason I have an issue with it is that I don't think your older kids should have to watch your younger ones. They have lives they should be living. Anyway-- that's not the point, at all. So, in their religion, which they live strictly by, they aren't supposed to even kiss before marriage. The parents on the show did kiss before marriage, but the oldest son who is now engaged has not yet kissed his fiance, and both want to wait until their wedding day for the "special kiss". So, what is it that makes them a couple? HOW are they more of a couple than friends? Or is that all a couple is; good friends?
I went to a talk on the physiology of love while I was in college, and more or less there is a chemical reaction that triggers the feelings of lust, then love, within two people. I get why people start dating. Those endorphins are powerful little suckers, and they create the euphoric 'love' feeling. Then, supposedly, the love emotion does kind of fade out as the hormones are lessened, but you essentially make the subconscious decision to stay in love or not. But to me I think, now that you KNOW you took the pill, can you still feel that emotion?
I'm not saying that I don't or can't feel love, we're not going down that melodramatic route. I just can't understand how it really happens. I have had happy and long relationships in my past, but they don't last. I guess most will say "then you haven't met the right one yet". But how can you be sure? How do you know you weren't supposed to just CHOOSE to be happy with one that has already gone by? I mean, I COULD spend the rest of my life with someone, but how do you know you SHOULD?
Everytime I consider this conundrum I talk myself in circles, and it always seems to come back to the physicality of the relationship, even though I don't think that should be the case. Maybe it's because I don't live in a Mormon society and you won't find many-- maybe any-- guys who are willing to wait you out and understand your hesitancy. One has, does that mean I should spend the rest of my life with him? It's probably more on me than it is on the guys, actually. I think I feel more guilty because I understand that men show their affection through intimacy, and women through words. It makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling what a relationship should be in their eyes. Maybe the situation can be solved easily if I put all of this on the table the minute a few dates starts looking like a could-be-relationship situation.
We'll see.
I'm sure it's some shortcoming of my own that I can't make this distinction. Sure, some would jump to the obvious physicality of the differing relationships, but can that REALLY be the only difference? Then why do I love my friends differently than my family? Why would I love my boyfriend more or less or equal to any of those people? Plus, what about if you don't DO the physical things? Then are you in a relationship? A friendship? My own issues with physical closeness are mine alone, I accept that until I receive some sort of counseling I'll continue to have those issues, but I don't think that those problems alone can make or break having a committed relationship--can they?
Yesterday I was watching the show about the Morman family of soon to be 18 people, the Duggars. Seriously, get over the no-birth-control rule, it's getting ridiculous. They raise their children well, and the only reason I have an issue with it is that I don't think your older kids should have to watch your younger ones. They have lives they should be living. Anyway-- that's not the point, at all. So, in their religion, which they live strictly by, they aren't supposed to even kiss before marriage. The parents on the show did kiss before marriage, but the oldest son who is now engaged has not yet kissed his fiance, and both want to wait until their wedding day for the "special kiss". So, what is it that makes them a couple? HOW are they more of a couple than friends? Or is that all a couple is; good friends?
I went to a talk on the physiology of love while I was in college, and more or less there is a chemical reaction that triggers the feelings of lust, then love, within two people. I get why people start dating. Those endorphins are powerful little suckers, and they create the euphoric 'love' feeling. Then, supposedly, the love emotion does kind of fade out as the hormones are lessened, but you essentially make the subconscious decision to stay in love or not. But to me I think, now that you KNOW you took the pill, can you still feel that emotion?
I'm not saying that I don't or can't feel love, we're not going down that melodramatic route. I just can't understand how it really happens. I have had happy and long relationships in my past, but they don't last. I guess most will say "then you haven't met the right one yet". But how can you be sure? How do you know you weren't supposed to just CHOOSE to be happy with one that has already gone by? I mean, I COULD spend the rest of my life with someone, but how do you know you SHOULD?
Everytime I consider this conundrum I talk myself in circles, and it always seems to come back to the physicality of the relationship, even though I don't think that should be the case. Maybe it's because I don't live in a Mormon society and you won't find many-- maybe any-- guys who are willing to wait you out and understand your hesitancy. One has, does that mean I should spend the rest of my life with him? It's probably more on me than it is on the guys, actually. I think I feel more guilty because I understand that men show their affection through intimacy, and women through words. It makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling what a relationship should be in their eyes. Maybe the situation can be solved easily if I put all of this on the table the minute a few dates starts looking like a could-be-relationship situation.
We'll see.
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